Job opportunity

I quite like getting phishing messages, and I'm disappointed I don't get more. Sadly there seems to have been a lull in the number of wives of African dictators who have to smuggle unfeasible quantities of cash out of the country.

This latest one prompted me to think that there must be an opening for someone with good editing and proofreading skills in the international gangs that run these operations.

Dear Customer,

As part of our security measure, we regularly screen activity in the HSBC Bank system. You received this message due to an issue on your account.

Due to unusual number of invalid login attempts on your account, we have reason to believe there might be security breach on your account. Your account requires extra verification process to ensure your identity and your account security.

It's not too bad, but not writing "an unusual number" starts to give the game away. You'd think, with the amount of money they apparently make, that they could spare some for spending on editing. It seems a shame to let your scam fail because you haven't spelled things properly (although there are many legitimate UK companies that adopt the same approach, of course).

Life in the gang might not be so bad, but I don't think it would suit a total grammar pedant.

Boss: "We're gonna make a million now we got the words done right."

Pedant: "Don't you mean 'written properly'?"

A Colt revolver clicks...