One people person, many people people

Via APIL, another curious headline - People people thwarts mast plans. I do like the idea that, rather like Spartacus, the protestors cry "I'm a people person", "I'm a people person", etc. They're all people people!

Cheats chant, and chants cheat

The Daily Telegraph again, so soon, with a slightly puzzling headline about last night's football. It conjures up an image of supporters pretending to chant, but not really, the sneaky devils - 'cheat' chants was surely the way to have gone here!

Pothole blighted car park plans stall

Two of my favourite blogs melded together in one news story

Pothole blighted car park plans stall

Firstly, the headline - a way of writing beloved by UK headline writers that combines a number of words that might be nouns or verbs or adjectives in one riot of colour. They've been christened "crash blossoms" after a famous headline "Violinist linked to JAL crash blossoms" and are popular over on Language Log. I must admit this isn't a classic, but I do like the idea that the car park is planning to have a stall to raise awareness, and possibly funds, to help with its current pothole blighted state.

Secondly, the picture - the kind of image loved by the good people of Angry People in Local Newspapers. OK, the man on the right isn't looking particularly angry, but the man kneeling down is showing textbook fury. I can't help but think, though, that this is at least in part because he was the one who drew the short straw, volunteered to do the kneeling, and, well, frankly, his knees aren't up to it.

Mildly amusing names for presenters: An occasional series

Date: Wednesday 18th March 2009

Title: Health of UK Military Personnel

Presenter: Dr Nicola Fear, Academic Centre for Defence Mental Health, King's College, London

Excellent job opportunity

These may be straitened times, but the salary of £1 per annum still seems a little mean. Oh, but there's a "+ negotiable". My guess is that you need to be a good negotiator in this role, or it's not going to be the job for you.

New Pepsi logo

There's something about the way that design is commissioned that sets free idiocy. Up in the stratosphere of the corporate world, it's not possible for a designer to say, "I've thought about it for a bit, and I think this looks nice." You increasingly have to justify your jottings with philosophical ramblings. And, I suppose, for the corporate executive, it's also nice to believe that your career has more meaning than selling shampoo or fizzy drinks.

Which is how things like this happen. Pepsi's new logo, explained in this document. Now where's my copy of the Emperor's New Clothes?

http://bunnitude.com/misc/files/pepsi_gravitational_field.pdf

And here's what they were really thinking about

http://www.suckatlife.com/pepsiLogoBlowatlife.html

Lost in translation

Sites that pick up press releases and publish them without a second thought are common. Well, here's a site that's tried something different - rewriting the press release. Presumably the budget for the business is pretty low, so rather than employ writers, they must be using a programme that replaces words with their synonyms. I'm not sure that they care whether or not the result is readable, but rather that there's some content there that can be found on the internet. Because if somebody, somewhere clicks on your site it will make money, one day, eventually, maybe.

I think this idea deserves to succeed, because the result is bizarre. Read the thing in isolation and it's gibberish, but find the original and you can see the strange beauty of the translation. My favourite bits are

"Queen Mary University" = "Queen Jewess University"

"principal investigator" = "capital policeman"

"heart attacks and early death" = "hunch attacks and primeval death"

"new blood tests" = "newborn murder tests" and

"pilot study" = "airman think"

Rewritten - http://www.medicalnewsbase.com/medical-research-news/major-research-effort-to-improve-quality-of-care-for-heart-patients/

Original - http://www.bris.ac.uk/news/2009/6125.html

One day, all press releases will be written this way...

On bullet points

In late 1942, there were signs that the Second World War was starting to turn. However, the sheer size and scale of co-ordinating the activities of the war machine was creating strain. Churchill felt many times that, at major strategy meetings, the key messages were being lost and ignored.

He mentioned this to one of his oldest friends, Arthur Murchison, as an aside in a letter in November that year. "I fear that, for the lack of adequate communication of what we must achieve, our achievements will be delayed," he wrote. Murchison, at that time an academic in the medieval history department at Cambridge University, took the matter to heart. He remembered the long lists of tallies he had studied for his doctorate. These were then summarised with further tallies. Surely this was the answer.

Over several weeks he came to develop the idea of the bullet point, an idea he presented to Churchill in early 1943. His detailed paper explains the difference between the list as rhetoric, as a numbered list (which encourages prioritisation) and the bulleted list, which presents key ideas "democratically". He famously showed this by using Churchill's "fight them on the beaches" speech. As Murchison points out, the existing speech is a fine example of rhetoric. But it could have been presented as the order in which the country should have been defended:

We shall fight

1. on the beaches
2. on the landing grounds
3. in the fields and in the streets
4. in the hills
5. never surrender

Or, as a bulleted list, which is not prioritised

We shall fight

• on the beaches
• on the landing grounds
• in the fields and in the streets
• in the hills
• never surrender

Churchill was thrilled, and the bullet point was quickly taken up by Allied commanders and strategists. He later claimed its invention had shortened the war by six months. After the war its use spread more widely. However, because of wartime secrecy, Arthur Murchison's link to the invention was lost, and was only redicovered several years ago.

Today, his only memorial is his gravestone, to be found in the picturesque churchyard of Histon, near Cambridge. The inscription reads

Here lies Arthur Murchison, medieval historian:

• Born 12 March 1900
• Died 24 April 1970
• Inventor of the bulletpoint