M: We've got 20 minutes to save the world.
Bond girl: James, could I have a quick word?
Bond: Of course.
Bond girl: Look, I love you, but it's really not working out, so I'm off.
Bond: Oh, okay. What are you going to do?
Bond girl: I'm just going to wander off and walk the streets of London late at night.
Bond: With all the baddies around?
Bond girl: Yeah, pretty sure that will be fine.
Bond: Yeah, I think so too.
Sam Mendes: Where did you get the idea for this stunt?
Stunt Co-ordinator: Ninja Warrior UK.
Sam Mendes: Cool.
Bond: How did you escape from the baddies?
Q: I hid in the cleaners' cupboard.
Bond: Yeah, I must try that sometime.
M: We've got 10 minutes before the system goes live.
Q: Although we could always take it down after that.
M: We could, yeah.
Psychiatrist: So you're not the main villain.
Moriarty: No.
Psychiatrist: So who is?
Moriarty: Some European guy who wears shoes without socks.
Psychiatrist: How does that make you feel?
Moriarty: How do you think that makes me feel?
Moriarty: Don't worry, we'll soon get the South Africans to vote for us. Then we'll have the nine best intelligence agencies in the world working together.
M: South Africa?
Moriarty: Yeah, oh, good point.
Sam Mendes: Where did you get the idea for this stunt?
Stunt Co-ordinator: Jaws.
Sam Mendes: Cool.
Builder: So we've finished your giant secret server warehouse in the desert.
Blofeld: That's great.
Builder: And we've surrounded it with an oil and gas refinery.
Blofeld: Because...
Builder: It's the classic combination. You know, cut keys, mend shoes; server warehouse, oil and gas refinery.
Bond: Go and find out what you know about this ring.
Q: Where?
Bond: Oh, I don't know, how about on a ski lift, with your laptop. Pretty sure that will be secure.
Q: I'm injecting you with secret smart blood that'll track you anywhere.
Bond: Wait a minute. Consent!
Subject: Baddie I forgot to tell you about.
Hi James
Just FYI, there's a super secret baddie that I forgot to tell you to kill. Lol, so forgetful. Anyway
Love you
Dead M
Bond girl: Why do you keep looking at those old photographs?
Bond: Because they're all so badly photoshopped. It must mean something.
